50

50 years ago today, my beautiful mother was born.  My mother is such a survivor and is an extremely influential person on my life.  When I was younger, I swore I would never be my mom, mainly because my mother was strict.  I use to believe I had the meanest mother in the world.. Lol.  Little did I know..my mother was not as mean as I thought she was.  She just wanted the best for me.  While growing up, my mom raised me on God’s word.  She taught me how to be a lady of God, to honor myself, and to know my worth.

All my life many people (guys) would think my mom was my big sister.  Everywhere we went it never failed that there would be some guy trying to catch my mother’s attention.  From her is where I learned to ignore men like this and not get caught up with being flattered when men try to get my attention in such a way.  No matter how old my mom gets, people will always think she is my sister.  I pray when I am her age, I will look just as good if not better (lol I’m joking mom..I LOVE YOU!

As I stated before, I use to believe my mother was the meanest in the world.  My mother would call to make sure I was a place, not let me hang out at the mall with my friends, and she would go to parties with me to make sure I would not dance.  I was the only one out of all my friends who had a mother like this.  It was not until I got older that I understood why she did the things she did.  I even had a friend recently who told me she wished her mother did some of the things mines did.  Of course not everything, but she mentioned it showed my mom cared.  My friend said she would have loved to know her mother cared as much as mine did.  What my friend said, was correct.  My mom only did the things she did because she loved me, and wanted the best for me.

For years my mom was an influential person in my life, because of her strength.  I believe it was about 14 years ago that my mother was diagnosed with breast cancer.  For a while no one knew, not even I.  My parents had the tendency to never give me the full details about certain situations.  As my mother further battled the cancer, I figured out why she was sick.  I was about 12 and extremely scared.  At that age, all I knew is that she could die.  I did my best to stay strong for my mother.  I figured my mother had to be strong to survive, so I had to do the same.  One thing my mother did not want to do, was let many people know she was ill, maybe for she did not want the pity.  Seeing my mother do that has me do that today.  My mother was fighting for her life, and survived!  She went through losing her hair, maybe her self-esteem, and had to regain her strength.  No mater how bad she was feeling, I cannot remember a day my mother did not play mommy.  Yes she had my father there to help, but if my father was not home due to work, my mother was right there with a tube in her side, doing what she could for my brother and I.  I thank God for healing her, and I am thankful for such a strong mother.  No matter how bad I am feeling, or how hard times may get for me.  I will never complain about it, or tell others.  My situation could always be worse, like my mother’s was years ago.  My mother stayed strong and survived, and she taught me I could do the same.

“You mean so much, and I'm so thankful that you're in my life

And I appreciate your love and all your sacrifice

Without you by my side, I never could survive

I wouldn't be the woman standin' here before your eyes

You taught me strength and you gave me guidance

Whenever faith was lost, you were there to find it

And all because a mother's love is unconditional

With all my heart and all my soul, I wanna let you know

That I thank you, and I love you

And I would never place anyone above you

Said I thank you, and I love you

And I will never ever place no one above you

You have given me life, and I just want you to know

That you're the reason I'm here today

I will never let go to everything that we share

And nothing can compare

I thank you, I thank you, I thank you, here's what I'm sayin'”

Above is part of one of my favorite songs to my mommy.

                                                                                                    Mother-Ashanti  

HAPPY 50TH BIRTHDAY MOMMY I LOVE YOU!

Love, Your Princess

My 20-week Surprise

I am 20 weeks today, which means I am now halfway through my pregnancy.  Many people say I still look small to be 20 weeks, however; I think the opposite.  Last week I walked past my daddy and could you believe he had the nerve to say, “ Oh you have a gut!” All I could do was laugh.  I have never had any type of stomach, and others are surprised to see me as I grow with one. 

Earlier this morning I had a doctor’s appointment to see my baby boy.  As the nurse was showing us the baby’s fingers, I noticed she was only able to show one hand.  A few minutes later she replied, “He seems to be keeping himself busy!”  I could not believe what I was seeing.  I was extremely embarrassed lol..my 20 week old baby, who has not yet been born, was caught in the act!!  OH MY GOSH!  

The Secret is out! We are having a..

*Gerald I texting..and him telling me he thinks it's a girl*

Whew! It feels good to finally let the secret out!  Holding something so huge in that you would like to share with the world is not an easy thing.  My last ultra sound on June 3^rd, I had found out the secret.  I was one day away from 14 weeks.  This was the ultrasound that I went with my moms.  My auntie had asked my moms to step out the room, that way she could get a good look at the baby.  Before the ultra sound I had spoke with my auntie about setting something up to find out the sex once Gerald was back in town.  I also told her if she seen anything, to not tell the moms or to let them see.  I just did not want anyone knowing before my husband.  This is the reason my auntie had my moms leave the room; to make sure they did not see the sex.  I turned my head away from the screen, for I did not want to know the sex without Gerald with me.  In like two minutes, I heard my auntie say okay, and that she was done.  At that moment, curiosity got the best of me.  I started wondering if in-fact it was boy.  Gerald has always wanted his first child to be a boy, and I prayed that I could give him that.  Gerald would be back in California in a couple of days, and his birthday was soon.  I began to think how being able to give Gerald a son would make a great birthday gift.  I said to my auntie, “Gerald would love a boy and his birthday is in two weeks.  That would make a special gift.  Is he going to have a happy birthday?”  My auntie shook her head and said, “Yes he will!”  In my head, all I could think about is how I just knew it was what I wanted!  I felt so overjoyed, but did not want to spoil anything.  I started to not think about it anymore, for my moms were about to return back to the room.

Father’s Day Surprise 

I set up an ultrasound for Gerald’s pre-father’s day gift, to find out the sex of his future child.  Gerald still had no clue that I knew, and I could not wait till we could both talk about it together.  I told Gerald I had made plans, but he had no clue what.  When we got into the car, I blindfolded him.  I could not let him see where we were going to ruin the surprise.  Almost an hour later, we arrived and I un-blindfolded him while telling him the surprise was to find out what our child would be.  I had a gift for him as well, and told him to not open it until I said so.  While walking into the hospital I asked Gerald was he nervous.  He replied no, for he is already prepared for it to be a girl.  My auntie turned the monitor on, and I finally seen my baby boy!  His thing was easy to spot, but Gerald had not seen it yet.  My auntie then flipped the angel, and then went back to the previous angle so Gerald could see.  When she went back, she pointed at his penis.  Gerald said, “Are you serious?”  I replied, “Yaaaa..I hope it is not a girl with a penis lol!”  

Gerald had the hugest smile on his face, and he could not believe it.  I felt extremely happy to know that he was happy.  I grabbed his gift and told him to open it.  When he opened, he had a card that congratulated him on his little boy.  In the card I wrote how it is sometimes hard to get someone a gift that they could get themselves.  I finally am able to give him a gift that only I can give him, with the help of God.  I wanted a boy, because I knew that is what my love wanted.  It is an amazing feeling to know I am able to give my husband such an amazing gift.  Also in the box, were some baby shoes that matched shoes Gerald had.  On top of the shoes was a heart that said..LIKE FATHER, LIKE SON. 

Gerald loved his gifts.  He could still not believe it!  I planned out a successful pre-father’s day gift.  Boy..I’m good!

Saturday, June 30^th

Today we celebrated Gerald’s 28^th birthday at Santa Monica beach in Southern California with our family and friends.  What made the celebration that much more special, is that Gerald and I planned to reveal the baby’s sex at the beach.  I made shirts for the announcement and brought an ultra sound photo in an envelope to show our mom’s and the Godfather, right before the revealing.  July 16^th is my ultra sound date, which is set up with my doctor to find out the sex.  I invited our parents to that appointment, so they had no clue that we already knew.  Gerald took our moms, and Terrell for a walk to show them the photo.  He had to remind them not to give anything away.  When they returned, Gerald and I had them line up with their backs facing everyone.  I went one by one giving them the shirt to put on and turn around with.  Everyone loved the announcement and they are thrilled to meet baby Alexander!